Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Personal: Doubts

“Will the day ever come when I don’t feel my stomach flip before a shoot?” I wondered as I grabbed my camera bag and quickly ran out the door. It was all too familiar, the nerves, feeling sick to my stomach and wondering if I was cut out for the job. It happens every time.  My mind plays tricks on me and I feel inadequate, insecure, and vulnerable.  I pray and I hope that people can’t see right through me and figure out that I too have doubts…

But then I lift my camera up and as I snap my first photo, I feel empowered. It is my responsibility to record a memory. It is my mission to make a statement… And I believe that the fact that I am scared beyond belief makes the final product that much better.  It helps me push my self harder than I thought possible.  And realize that even when you think you know it all you really don’t know anything at all.

I don’t know if those feeling will ever go away… and now that I think about it, maybe its best that they don’t.  But just in case they do, I want to document how I feel at this moment, as I reminder of who I am and our humble beginning.  I am truly grateful for our awesome clients. I really believe we have the best clients… ever!


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